She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
