I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize