she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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