yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
