sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
