All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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