sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
