We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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