they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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