she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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