question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
