I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The adults are the big ones right?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
