so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
