i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
