and next time when you feel me up, do it right
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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