I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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