you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
