there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
