I'm going to jail i love you
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize