Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
