you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
