four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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