oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
