Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
