guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
