Having a random hookup so left but love u
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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