fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
