what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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