I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
