its not stalking. its research.
even my farts smell like vagina
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
