I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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