More tranny stories later!
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you had me at cake vodka
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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