I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
