I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
