The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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