There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
