I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
