I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
