Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
