I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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