Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
