hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My vagina just recognized that song.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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