I hate your face
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
