he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
