Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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