I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
