id be glad to
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
