Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
