does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
