I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize