your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
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