yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
