if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize