My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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