A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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