Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
