These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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