So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
