Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
